(Taken from Pathway of the Beloved)

These questions are taken from the work of AJ Miller and Mary Luck, and these were the questions that I asked myself as I began the Divine Love Pathway. The light of realization that was poured through the answers was crystal clear and incredibly humbling.  Now I knew the truth, it was obvious as it was resonating within my body. I was being invited to remain true to that truth. I knew that I had to act on its wisdom, as not to, would mean that the relationship would remain stuck.

So I invite you to work through these questions.  I always give these questions to couples who are encountering conflicts and stagnation.  Please take them in, to your deepest place and answer from that true place within you.

WHAT DOES LOVE DO?

Since we are often injured in our love, the question “What Does Love Do” perhaps needs to be supplemented with “What Does God’s Love Do?” Often our love injuries cause us to have an incomplete view of love, and these injuries usually manifest themselves in either a poor viewpoint of love of self, or selfishness when dealing with others. When we ask “What Would God’s Love Do” we are attempting to see our partner and ourselves as God sees us, and we come to understand that our feelings, and our partners feelings are equal in importance to our God.

Now, since a relationship involves two people, then the question “What Does Love Do?” must be applied to both persons within the relationship. In addition, when asking this question, it must be asked from two perspectives. Firstly, what would my love of myself do? Secondly, what would my love of my partner do? Finally, each person in the relationship needs to ask the same questions. So, if we ask the two questions to the two people within the relationship from two perspectives, we get a sum total of 8 questions, 4 that are asked by each partner.  Even if you are not presently with your Beloved – it is still a good exercise to run through at this stage.  It is CRUCIAL that you both do this when you are together and openly share any thing that arises.

Here are the questions:

 

First of all ask from your own perspective:

 

• What would my love for myself motivate me to do for myself?
• What would my love for my partner motivate me to do for them?
• What do I feel my partners love for themselves would motivate them to do for themselves?
• What do I feel my partners love for me would motivate them to do for me?

 

Now ask your partner to answer from his or her own perspective:

• What would my love for myself motivate me to do for myself?
• What would my love for my partner motivate me to do for them?
• What do I feel my partners love for themselves would motivate them to do for themselves?
• What do I feel my partners love for me would motivate them to do for me?

 

When you are both done, share your answers. Read and FEEL your responses to your partners answers. Be honest, and tell the truth about your feelings if you feel a disagreement. Share with them openly how the answers make you feel.  Are you in agreement with the answers, is your partner in agreement with your answers?

If the answer to any of the four questions each partner asks is negative, in the sense that the answer in our personal lives is either; “No, my love for myself would not allow this”, or “my love for my partner would not allow this”, or “my partner’s love for me would not allow this”, or “my partner’s love for themselves would not allow this”, then there are problems within the relationship that, if one or both partners in the relationship are unwilling to resolve, will result in the decay of the relationship.

With this information you can see clearly where the issue is.  Staying with “What would love do?”, do your best to explore together the truth.  See if you can work together to find the solution that love can stand beside.

Never compromise.  Love does not compromise.

 

If one partner is unwilling to ask their personal set of four questions of themselves, there is a high likelihood that the decay of the relationship will occur. Often, many are willing to ask the questions that relate to the other person, but are totally unwilling to ask the personal questions that will resolve the issues within. When both partners are willing to answer all questions, then it becomes apparent that the relationship may continue, but that will depend on the truthful answers from the questions, and the required actions taken by two people attempting to live by honoring their feelings and emotions.

Questions taken from the work of AJ Miller and Mary Luck